Houston, Steve has a problem

The par 5 that isn't a par 5 in 'Tin Cup'

Ok, so I don't have a problem. I am just creative like that. I just spent 3 days in Houston with my friends Jared and Kelsey. Ok, mostly with Jared. We played 36 holes on Friday and 18 on Saturday. Watched the NCAA tourney, ate some good food, and just had a blast. At least I did. On Friday we played 2 private courses. That morning we played Kingwood. Kingwood is the largest private membership in the country. This isn't necessarily a good thing. Kingwood has 5 courses. We played the Lakes course. I thought it was in great condition. The highlight of the day however was Deerwood Golf Club.

Deerwood is an interesting golf club. It's members seem to think that it is THE private golf club in the world. Byron Nelson designed the greens, and the movie 'Tin Cup' was filmed here. It's rules are so strict that you cannot wear shorts that have pockets in them (other than the two normal pockets). So no stylish shorts. Another rule is, you cannot wear your hat backwards. I think that the membership at Deerwood thinks this is Augusta. The course is ok. Highly overrated actually in my opinion. Don't get me wrong. It was a very nice course, but maybe it was because everyone was talking it up so much that it was somewhat of a dissapointment after it was over. OR, maybe it wasn't the course at all but the STUFFY membership....Here's where it gets good...

Jared and I had a 145 tee time and Deerwood. We pulled up to the first tee and talked to the starter for a minute. There already was a fivesome in the fairway, so we were waiting to tee off. ABout 30 seconds later, a cart drives around us and pulls up directly in front of us. Another fivesome, who is pissed that they would allow two young guys who are guests to tee off in front of them. They had started on the back nine, and now were playing their final nine on the front. This made me mad so I made my feelings known, maybe a little too loudly. "I can't believe they are going to put us behind ANOTHER retarded foursome." Member Stricker did not approve, so they started yelling at the starter and teed it up in front of us. What a jerk. Then as we are waiting for Stricker's group to clear the fairway so we can tee off, another fivesome pulls up behind us and wants to do the same thing. "Who are these guys?" "They weren't here on time, then they forefit their tee time!" Ok, this made me mad, so I interjected again, "We weren't late, this retard in front of us just pulled up with his idiot friends and teed off as a fivesome in front of us." This seemed to appease Member Consultant (actual name withheld) so he got mad at Member Stricker. That is how I learned Strickers name, because Member Consultant proceeded to give the starter a five minute lecture on what should have been done.

Anyway, Jared and I got to tee off and it was nice because we somewhat hit into Member Stricker for our first two shots. We even got the glare from Member Stricker up in the fairway when Jared's ball landed about 20 yards behind him. It was awesome. After the round, Jared and I, as audibly as was possible so the members and employees could hear us had the following conversation.

Jared: "Course was ok, but the members were jerks."

Steve: "Yeah, the members were idiots. I don't think I can put up with such retards so I don't think I will join. What about you?"

Jared: "No, I think I will take my money to a better course, with better membership."

Steve: "Yeah, this course is way overrated. And who wants to put up with these members?"

Ok, so that wasn't exactly it, but it was close. We had a good time acting snobby. The key to playing golf at a private club is to act like you are a member. If you are ever questioned about being a member, you just look at the person doing the questioning like he is an idiot and tell him you are a member. This always works.

I also took some pictures of the hole in Tin Cup where Roy keeps hitting it in the water. One of the misconceptions is that this is actually a par 5. It isn't. It is a relatively short par 4 that they used as a par 5 in the movie. I made an awesome bogey on it though. My tee shot was in the trees, had to chip out into the fairway and hit a high six iron over monstrous trees in the fairway to hit the green and two putt for a good bogey, if there is such a thing.

All in all, Houston was great. I feel bad for leaving my sick wife with my sick kid, but it was good to get away.