Law enforcement

How come police officers lie? After spending a while reading Keith's, Mooche's, and Bishop Ken Craig's blog, I have found myself wondering why nothing interesting happens to me? How come I don't have any cool stories? Like the time Andrew and his girlfriend got caught by the police making out in the car in the parking lot of an elementary school, and the police officer had to call the Dixon home to tell Grandpa Dixon and Grandma Dixon of the "steam" that was going down outside the 4th graders door.

If you haven't checked out Mooche's, Keith's, or even Craig's blog, you are missing out on some of the best stories EVER.

I recently read Bishop Craigs adventure of when he was arrested (I first read how he likes to drive naked at night) but my post will not go to those lengths of indecency.

My post is on the injustices and attitudes of police officers. I have four experiences to share...

The first time I was ever stopped by a police officer in my teenage years was in Pocatello, Idaho. Andrew was driving Grandpa's old pickup and me, and our two cousins Adrienne and someone else were in the front seat with Andrew. We were returning from a victorious fishing expedition at Jackson' Trout Pond located in the middle of nowhere between Blackfoot and Twin Falls.

Andrew was 16. Andrew was stopped for speeding. Good thing I wasn't driving because I kept asking if I could. Uncle David pulled up next to us when he saw the cop had stopped Andrew (total coincidence that David would pull up next to us in Poky since we all lived in Vegas, but I think we were there for a family reunion). David asked the cop if David could verify anything. The officer told him it was ok. I guess David was trying to get on the cops good side and help Andrew out, so he asked the cop if there were any good places to eat in town. I found this weird since David knew poky just as well as any other pocatelloan, but Andrew ran with it. He immediately chimed in "The Donut Shop!?!?" This didn't help. The officer gave Andrew a nasty look, went to his car and wrote up a ticket. First lesson: Cops don't have a sense of humor.

Second incident of relevance was somewhere in between Fillmore and Beaver. A cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I responded I did not. He told me I didn't turn on my blinker when I moved over and switched lanes. There was NOBODY within 10 miles of me at the point I switched lanes. Luckily he let me go with a warning. I SLOWLY pulled out from the stop, making sure my blinker was on and slowly gathered speed. Second Lesson: Cops scare people for fun.

Third incident came in Inkom, Idaho. Yes, the thriving metropolis of Inkom Stinkom. I was pulled over for going 87 in a 75. I explained to the officer that my cruise control was set at 78 so I couldn't be going 87. He said, "so you admit you were going over the speed limit." I got upset and can't really remember what I said, but I raised my voice pretty good. He wrote the ticket for 87. When he came back I was disgusted. He forcefully asked me if I had a problem. I told him to give me the frickin ticket so I could sign it. I ripped it away from him and took off. Third lesson: Cops are jerks. Cops have guns and I don't. Don't get arrested for stupidity.

Fourth incident was with a fish and game officer from Idaho. Andrew and I were fishing some small reservoir in Idaho. One of the regulations was that you couldn't use barbed hooks to catch fish at this location. All my hooks were barbed. The officer caught me red handed. He looked in my tackle box and noticed that all my hooks were barbed. One of the punishments of using barbed hooks was that you got that lure taken away from you. (You could get it back, you just had to write a letter to him, describing it, and send postage. Ah the justice system's intricate punishments). Dude wanted to take my whole tackle box. He told me he knew I was using them all because they were all wet. I told him it is currently raining outside, and duh, they are all wet. He wrote me a ticket for $65. I don't think I had a fishing license that day either. I did however catch a HUGE trout that day, it just cost me $65. Most expensive fish I ever caught. Fourth lesson: It doesn't rain on cops.

So basically I have learned that cops don't have a sense of humor, scare people for fun, are jerks that carry guns, and it doesn't rain on them. Why can't I get this at my job? They should never complain about their pay because these benefits are AMAZING!

later